“Susie – I’m just-a-chillin’” these are words spoken by my Momma often -usually because she is always cold and shivering. You throw that little Texas accent in there and it is a staple of “Momma “Sayings” that we who are family and close to her hear in our minds. So this week was full of appointments  her Post-Op, PET Scan and then follow-up with Oncologist. The findings were this: PET Scan clear of any other tumors presently, and pathology was perplexing-Moms type of cancer is so rare that as of 2002 only 22 cases reported at that time. The Oncologist was honest that she did not know enough about thistype of spindle cell sarcoma to give any answers except for it is aggressive, ugly and will likely returnThe Oncologist is referring Mom to a Sarcoma Specialist at the University of Iowa as he will be able to determine a prognosis and treatment planSo… now we wait... I feel like we are in an airplane circling the airport waiting to land in another holding pattern -  all control is given to the pilot and air traffic controllers – I can only sit back and wait until the wheels touch down safely on the ground. I liken this to how we are to give God control – surrender all of our worry, impatience  and trust to him – man this is tough to do when you are kind of a control freak – Just sayin’.

As we learned last week none of these are my strongest attributes.  I want to reach out and grab control of the joy stick and bring the plane down for landing. Although, there is good news here friends - I can honestly say I haven’t wanted to throat punch anyone this week!(except for maybe the bank teller that left Mom and I waiting for 45 minutes). I have been working on remaining calm, cool, and collected through all of the appointments – all of the information flowing past our ears – ittruly is a lesson in surrender. I watch my little Momma’s face as she takes it all in and I see peace – I see a woman who has made it her life’s practice in giving Jesus the controls of her life- letting him work through her. I also watch my sister calmly, and intentionally take all of the information in – then she processes-  she prays and walks it out with patience and grace. It is truly amazing for me to be in the room with these two strong and capable women who both exude peace, calm and complete trust and faith in God – being obedient and intentional in their walk. Can I emulate this? Well… I am trying and with prayer and counsel I will get there. Life can be a bit uncomfortable and messy but I have learned it is ok to be a hot mess sometimes and know that is how God grows us – through these situations - that this thing called life can bring. Words cannot express howblessed I feel to have Debbie at my side through thisexceptionally challenging time – she is having a huge impact on my life with the way that I process challenges. I hear her voice telling me “ Let us not miss the blessings Susan”. This is how she lives her life and I am so grateful that she is helping me live mine. My main contribution to the family is comic relief – I guess I just kind of stumble through life sometimes and all you can do is chuckle a bit! LOL! So for example- I have noticed a lot lately that people are constantly telling me to “calm down” – to chill out”  I am an intense person a “lets get this thing done” person- one who has always taken the bull by the horn- (usually the wrong bull) but I just go after life with both feet dug in ready for the next challenge-in the past it was often without thinking about how my actions might affect others, or without fully grasping the consequences that wait on the other side of those actions. So, as I watch my sweet Momma and my amazing sister in this situation I am enthralled by their ability to be patient and truly wait on and in the Lord. All the while I am probably over in the corner flopping around like a fish out of water trying to emulate what I see. I think the phrase that is applicable here is “progress not perfection”. My friends, the good news is I am working on true surrender of control in thisand all situations- giving Jesus the wheel – letting him land when he sees fit – in his timingAnd me? I will be here-”just a chillin”.

-Susan’s Perspective


“Just a chill’in”


Friday couldn’t get here soon enough for us to have concrete answers. But as Susan explained, there are still questions within momma’s diagnosis. I came out of the appointment with mixed emotions thinking “We are not done yet.” 


We got back to Angie’s house and all of us crashed with “Just a chill’in”, which has been a phrase in our family since I can remember. We are now in that state of mind while we get momma ready for her move to Iowa. She will live with mine and Tim’s daughter, Darah’s and Tyler’s family in Davenport. We spent Saturday packing momma’s belongings with the help of a special couple , Phillip and Michelle, while enjoying some incredible homemade breakfast tacos from Adriana one of momma’s ladies that she has mentored for many years. I found myself going back in time seeing so many things that brought back wonderful memories such as an antique coffee cup, a piece of jewelry, photos, crochet doilies, books, Bibles, Journals and Spur’s memorabilia. I thought about what we hold on to and things that are important to me may not be as special to someone else. There was a bag I found tucked in a drawer that was full of sewing threads, buttons, and spools that brought me back to younger years with my Mammaw Lanier. I am sure if I would try to sew with any of these threads they would break right off because of being old, dry and unreliable to keep anything together. It was kinda of a strange day because here we were packing momma up, going through her things with knowing that her move to Iowa will be where she spends the remainder days of her life. She will be surrounded by family and it will be a home where friends and family are welcomed to visit her. Susan and I will come and go with being available to love our momma well. 

These next couple of weeks will be a time for us to have some good Texas memories with momma. She has put together a bucket list for us to go down memory lane and enjoy a few of her favorite things before heading to Iowa the first of April. 

Jim’s on Broadway was our first stop on the list. We would go to this San Antonio diner for lunch every Sunday after Church. Also, this is where momma would meet women that she was discipling and ministering too through the years. 

Yesterday, after we listened to a sermon, and we discussed it, she wanted to go get a pedicure. Oh, this was so relaxing and what a treat for us. Everyone needs a little pampering from time to time. Afterwards we went to one of her favorite Italian Restaurants again local to San Antonio. This was what momma needed with a smile on her face, along with her exuberant personality showing up,  she ended her evening doing her favorite things with journaling and reading her Bible. 

As difficult as this time is with momma having to say bye to many who have loved her well through the years, it is a sweet time that Susan and I will treasure. She also continues to minister and counsel while she recovers from surgery. God remains faithful doing His work and will work to the end. 

And unlike these old threads, momma isn’t done yet. There is a lot life in her little body left in her steadfast walk with God and “just a chill’in.” After all she still hasn’t met Timmy Duncan and George Strait. lol


Debbie’s : Perspective  


“11 He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end. 

12 I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one's lifetime; 

13 moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor--it is the gift of God. 

14 I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him. 

15 That which is has been already and that which will be has already been, for God seeks what has passed by.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11, NASB)



Thank ya’ll for your continued prayers. 

Lovingly in His Grace

Debbie, Susan and Momma




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